When you have AD/HD, one of the keys to completing anything that is tedious or boring is to feel motivated. One way to feel motivated is to think of some good reasons for clearing and de-cluttering. How will the end result improve your life? Will you stop being late for work because it will be easier to find things in the morning? Will you end up with better clothes to wear because they won’t be hidden among all the clothes that you haven’t worn in years? Will your bills get paid on time because they aren’t buried under piles of who knows what? Think of all the late fees you’ll save. Once you come up with good reasons to clear and de- clutter, write them down and post them where you can see them every day.

Another helpful approach to the process is to make it as interesting and stimulating as possible. “Ha,” you may say. “That will never happen.” But with a little imagination, it can. I know someone who plays music she loves and dances around the room while she clears. It’s pretty funny to see her throwing her arms in the air and bobbing her head to the music while she picks clothes up off the floor and tosses crumpled papers away. Someone else might find de-cluttering more interesting with a “clutter friend.” Invite a non-judgmental friend over to talk with you while you go through drawers or clear off surfaces. After a half hour or 40 minute session, go out to dinner or a movie. Rewards are always motivating. Make a deal with yourself that after you work on a section of a room for a specified amount of time, you can eat some chocolate, watch T.V., play on the computer, take a bike ride, go shopping, or do something else special for yourself.

After you’ve figured out techniques to make the process less boring, here is an idea to help.  Start with a small, visible area that would make you feel great if it were clear.  For some people, it may be their coffee table.   For others, their dining room table.  What is an area that would improve the quality of your life if you were to see it uncluttered? Bring bins or containers to the area that fit with your goals:  containers for recycling,  things that belong somewhere else, items to give away, and trash.

And if you are having a hard time letting go of stuff, you are not alone. Here are six questions to ask yourself when deciding whether or not to keep something:

Am I saving it because I may need it someday, even though I can’t remember the last time I used it?

Is it broken and I’ve been planning to get it fixed for more than six months?

Do I have duplicates of the same item, and could really get by with just two of them?

Does it have special significance to me – does having it enhance my life or make me feel good?

How would I feel if it were gone?

Would it be easier to let it go if I gave it to someone who could really use and appreciate it?

Remember Ecclesiastes 3.1: There is a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to hold on and a time to let go.” Hope these ideas help!

If you are feeling paralyzed by overwhelm or your brain feels like mush, one way to move out of this state is to move out of your head and into your senses … for five minutes or so. Give your brain some time to rest and renew by focusing on one of the following:

1. Color: Choose a color and scan the environment for it. Some choices you are likely to see often are blue, yellow, red, or green. Indoors or outdoors, you will be amazed at how many times you find your color and its varying brightness, depth, and other qualities.
2. Breathing: Focus on your breath and the sensations of breathing in and breathing out. Feel the sensations in your body where you notice them the most – your belly, chest, or the air moving in and out of your nostrils.
3. Sounds: Notice the sounds around you. Try not to analyze or think about the sounds, but just let them enter your ears. Can you hear the heater? Voices? Birds? Traffic?

If you try this for five minutes when you’re stuck or overwhelmed, you might be pleasantly surprised at your clarity when you go back to your work or project. Getting out of our heads and into our senses for a while is a great tool to help us become more calm and focused. I hope you try it and I hope it helps!

Looking around the room, I could see that people had mixed reactions to that idea.  Yes, many people end up working on lots of tasks at the same time because they are jumping from thing to thing.  But is it a strength? I’m not so sure when a primary ADD symptom for so many of my clients is that they find themselves doing lots of things at once – yet not getting anything done.  One man I know describes it as “going down the bunny trail.”

The brain wiring of ADD does make it very difficult to focus on only one thing at once. It can get unbearably  boring and requires a sustained attention that isn’t so easy – especially if the task is not stimulating or interesting.  I think that many people react to this discomfort by moving on to something else without even realizing it.  That leads to something else and before they know it, their original intention is lost in the shuffle.

Medication can help people sustain their attention on one thing at a time.  So can strategies from ADD coaching such as breaking it down so that each part is less overwhelming and easier to finish. External cues can keep you on track.  And so can Mindful Awareness.

Being mindful means knowing what you are doing while you are doing it.  One strategy for this is to build in pauses throughout the day to take a step back and check in with yourself.  How is what you are doing right now serving you? What are you feeling in your body? Do you need to take care of yourself in some way so you can get back on track? Do you need to change environments? Get more support or help?  Look in your appointment book to see if you are supposed to be somewhere else soon? (Or now?)

To remind ourselves to take this pause, an external cue is essential. What would work for you? Can you program your cell phone to remind you a few times a day?  Set a timer? Maybe send yourself emails? (www.dailynudge.com)

Building in these pauses throughout the day allows you to step back, observe what you are doing and feeling, and then make a conscious decision about what you want to do next. I know it’s hard to pause but, believe it or not, you’ll end up getting more done if you do.  You may also find yourself living with more joy because your choices will be more conscious which leads to more freedom and less stress!

The first step to living your values is to figure out what they are. What is most important to you? What brings you the most joy? What are you doing when you feel a sense of purpose or meaning?  No matter how busy we are or what challenges we face, it is up to us to take advantage of opportunities that allow us joy and meaning – at least every once in a while!    

After you identify a few, see how you can live them out in between and around all of your responsibilities. If one of your values is creativity, I hope you can find some time to write, paint, or do whatever expresses that for you. Make a date with yourself in your appointment book. If another is generosity, maybe you can take a minute to write that check to your favorite charity. Write a brightly colored reminder note and place it where you pay your bills. If you value being a good listener, try to be conscious of really listening. If you get distracted, bring yourself back again and again to the conversation. And ask for clarification for something you might have missed. These kinds of efforts will all improve the quality of your life and your relationships and will bring you more in tune with living the life you choose.      

Here are five life values to get you started. If you don’t identify with them, maybe they can inspire you to think of your own. If you do identify with them, use them as a springboard to think of even more.

1. Love of nature
2. Volunteering to help others
3. Exercise/Care of the body
4. Hard work
5. Spirituality

Life passes by quickly and we all deserve to recognize how we want to live and how we want to be remembered. I challenge you to do one extra thing next week that expresses a value that has been buried or forgotten.

There are mindfulness inventories and scales out there that allow people to measure mindfulness. One is the Kentucky Inventory of Mindfulness and another is the Mindful Attention Awareness Scale. And there are a few more.  In my first class, I actually had people take a mindfulness survey on the first day, put it away, and repeat the survey on the last day. It was a private process for their own information, their own knowledge of any growth and change.

 Although scales and measurements can be helpful and are essential for research, I like the process of just noticing little changes as they happen. And I think when mindfulness is in the forefront of our minds through meditation, studying it, learning about it, it’s easier to notice the changes. They can be subtle, but significant. Sometimes we might notice it’s helping when we least expect it.  I’ll give you two personal examples.

Last spring, I went for a bike ride because I was feeling stressed and needed a break. It was an amazing ride on the Burke Gilman Trail, alongside Lake Washington. There was beauty all around us, wild flowers in bloom, birds singing, the sun sparkling off the lake. And my husband and I spent the first 15 minutes seeing nothing, hearing nothing. We were lost in a conversation about a future trip to Costa Rica and the birds and monkeys there. Talk about being mindless! I know mindfulness is working for me because not only did I notice what I was doing, but I was able to immediately bring my attention back to where we were, in the present moment. I began to hear my bike and the sounds of the birds and the wind whistling through the trees instead of all the familiar sounds inside of my own head that can cause me stress. What joy! Before mindfulness training, I may have missed the ride completely. That was one measurement for me.

Another current measurement is how mindfully I work with my own self-judgments. Last night, when I didn’t answer the questions as fully as I would have liked to, my old tendency would have been to judge myself and think I did a terrible job. Instead, I accepted the reality that I felt a little under pressure and that influenced my ability to fully express what I knew.  And that’s it, no ruminating, no self-criticisms. And there is an action I can do to help anyone who felt they wanted a fuller answer to the questions. Write this post!

1. As a gift to yourself, take some time for planning every day.  This can be in the morning or the evening, but find 15 minutes or so to become aware of your upcoming appointments, the things you want to do, and the things you need to do.  What is coming up today? Or tomorrow? Or within the next few weeks?  Relax before you look at your list or your planner by taking a few slow, deep breaths.  This is a time just for you so you can feel grounded and worry less about forgetting something or not following through.

2. From your to-do list, no matter how big, pick no more than three things to accomplish each day.  Even less is okay, as long as it gets done.  When I suggest this to clients, they say, “But I have so much to do! That’s not enough.”  Unfortunately, without this kind of a strategy, people can become paralyzed with their huge to do lists and end up doing nothing instead.  You’ll be surprised how accomplishing a few things each day can add up.  Before you know it, your list will shrink and you will have gotten a lot done. There will be less to worry about!

3. Develop the habit of relaxing your body, even for a minute, when you find yourself with anxious thoughts. Consciously relax your forehead, jaw, neck, shoulders, or any place in the body where you tend to hold tension. Shrug your shoulders and then drop them and let go. Do some shoulder or neck rolls. Take four or five slow deep breaths. If you find your breathing is shallow or in the chest, experiment with softening and slowing the breath. Try breathing more deeply from the belly.

4. Do something you enjoy so you can lose yourself and go with the flow.  When people with ADD are doing something they enjoy, they don’t have to worry so much about paying attention. It happens naturally, so give yourself that break. We all need some time for mind and spirit stress relief.

5. If worrying is chronic and doesn’t help you in any way, try a mindful approach.  Instead of letting your worries take you along for the ride and strengthening them by imagining all sorts of bad things that could happen, try to remove yourself a little from the thoughts. Label them as, “Just worrying,” and then move on to something else.  Sometimes this approach can help remove you from the worrying thoughts and you will find they diminish.  Don’t ignore the thoughts or try to change them in any way; just acknowledge them with the label. If you have to do this twenty times a week, a day, or a minute, that’s okay. And try to be kind and non-judging to yourself in the process.  Remember that you are doing the best you can.

I invite you to pause for just a moment, take a few slow deep breaths, and relax. Now think back over the past few days. What did you experience that had less to do with getting things done and more to do with the deeper aspects of who you are? Were you kind, wise, funny, creative, communicative, appreciative, caring to yourself or others, or just enjoying this gift that is your life?

It is so common to judge ourselves, keep moving as fast as we can, feel stress, and overlook what is “right” with us and our lives. And this is especially true for people with ADD!

I know planning isn’t easy because not only does it mean remembering to plan, it also means figuring out what needs to get done when. But for now, if it sounds right, you could experiment with the first step of trying out a formal planning time. Some people try different times of the day until they find what works best. Is there something you do anyway that you could link to a planning time? Morning coffee or when you first get to work or after you drop off your kids at school? If you can’t remember to plan, you could create triggers. Some of my clients set their cell phones as a reminder or send themselves emails. Some put notes where they are likely to see them in the morning.

If you really abhor the idea, you could bring something positive to it. I know someone who lights up a lavendar scented candle that she keeps on the kitchen table while she plans. And one of my former clients used to reward herself with a piece of imported chocolate when she finished her list of what she wanted to do each day. (Even first thing in the morning!) Another client used to set his BlackBerry with the word – PLAN – every morning. Some people get out of the house with their calendar and to–do list. Coffee shops and bakeries are great possibilities. What would help you? Whatever system you use, electronic or paper, the concept is the same. You deserve to take some time to feel centered in your life.

(Oops, one more important thing. Be sure to set reminders to look at your planner after you plan!)

How can Qigong help people with ADD? It is a moving meditation which can be easier for the restless body. It includes visualizations which fit with creative, bright minds. It promotes focus, deep relaxation, and anchors us to our bodies, which is so important when our thoughts are all over the place. And it balances and modulates our organs – including the brain.

A University of Miami School of Medicine study showed that Tai Chi/Qigong helped reduce ADHD symptoms in adolescents. According to the research, thirteen adolescents with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) participated in Tai Chi classes twice a week for 5 weeks. Teachers rated the children’s behaviour on the Conners Scale during the baseline period, after the 5 week Tai Chi session period and 2 weeks later. After the 10 Tai Chi sessions the adolescents displayed less anxiety, improved conduct, less daydreaming behaviours, less inappropriate emotions, and less hyperactivity. These improved scores persisted over the 2-week follow up (no Tai Chi period).
[Hernandez-Reif, M., Field, T.M., & Thimas, E. (2001). Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: benefits from Tai Chi. Journal of Bodywork & Movement Therapies, 5(2):120-3, 2001 Apr, 5(23 ref), 120-123.]

I’ve been practicing and studying Qigong for almost 12 years. It literally saved my life. If you want to know more, email me! If you have experience with Qigong, feel free to post a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

An example might be getting stuck in traffic and not being aware that our stomachs are in knots and our hands have a death grip on the steering wheel. Our minds can get busy imagining all sorts of terrible things that could happen because we’re late without even realizing that our thoughts are out of control.

A stress response means that you give yourself a few seconds to stop, become conscious of the situation, and then choose how you want to respond. Just giving yourself those few seconds of awareness changes the situation into one in which you have more influence and control. Part of this process is bringing awareness to your thoughts and feelings as well.

This is not easy, but if you can start to notice your habitual ways of reacting to difficult situations (when you are running late, when your kids are fighting, when you can’t find your keys), you may begin to catch yourself in that moment between stimulus and response.  Or even after you have started to respond in unconscious, not so helpful ways. Then you can take a few slow breaths and ”choose” to respond in a more healthy way.